[Innsbruck, Austria / Montreal, Canada] – In a move that has rocked the ski industry to its core, the legendary European freeski media house Downdays and the trailblazing North American online community Newschoolers have announced a groundbreaking merger to form the world’s first truly global freeski supercompany: Downschoolers.
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Downdays & Newschoolers announce historic merger to form “Downschoolers”
The creation of Downschoolers promises to unite the style and storytelling of European freeskiing with the raw, unfiltered energy of North America’s flourishing park and urban scene.
“This is the biggest thing to happen to skiing since twin tips,” said a representative of the new conglomerate, who was found “milking the goods” on a spring midweek powder day.
“We’re combining the best of European ski journalism with the unhinged energy of the Newschoolers forums,” he added in between laps. “The future is now.”
Downdays was founded in 2008 in Innsbruck, Austria to unite the European freeski scene and to normalize cigarettes and espresso as acceptable lunch break sustenance.
Demian Deschamps
Key changes include:
- A Unified News Platform: One website to rule them all, with articles written exclusively in a mix of Austrian dialect, Québécois slang and incomprehensible Gen Z lingo.
- New Rating System for Ski Edits: Forget upvotes—videos will now be judged on an advanced algorithm based on afterbang intensity, outerwear brand credibility and the frequency of capped blunts.
- The First Ever Intercontinental Backcountry Slopestyle League: Athletes will be required to fly between hemispheres mid-line, with extra points awarded for keeping their ski gear on for the entirety of the journey.
When asked whether this merger will dilute either brand’s core identity, the spokesperson laughed before disappearing into a cloud of cold smoke on an oversized pow ski mounted too far forward.
As part of the transition, all employees will be required to wear Arc’Teryx jackets and their own handmade ski pants while conducting official business. Anyone using poles shorter than 150cm will be terminated immediately, and the wearing of avalanche beacons will be mandatory, even in the park.
Newschoolers was founded in 1999, providing park rats an online space to compare steeze, trash-talk pros and practice hate speech against telemarkers and snowboarders.
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In celebration of the merger, Downschoolers is launching its first major event: the Après Olympics, featuring events such as the Switch Beer Pound, the European Lift Line Challenge and the Boot Dancing Championships. The event will be co-hosted by Ischgl, Austria and Park City, Utah.
In addition, Downschoolers will soon debut the first ski movie generated entirely by AI. “We love what the pros do, but with the new technology available, it’s no longer necessary for them to risk life and limb,” a representative explained. With advanced AI models of Candide Thovex, Henrik Harlaut, Eileen Gu and Tess Ledeux already being trained, this revolutionary project promises to upend the ski media landscape for good.
Needless to say, with these two powerhouses of online ski culture united across the Atlantic, it’s a brave new world for skiing.
